Mahjong Drama
I love to play games, as you know. My Missy Mahjong journey started because I wanted to build community and raise money for local charities. As many mahjong players know, relationships at the game table can get… well… nasty.
If American mahjong were a soap opera, these would be the characters:
The Impatient “Expert”
The New Teacher
Rules Ruth and Careless Cathy
The Seat Saver
We are all seeking connection and friendship. Unfortunately, some personalities aren’t best suited for a four-person, two-hour game.
I am sure you have met some of these ladies along the way…
The Impatient “Expert”
When I first learned to play, I went to the Lake Geneva Public Library for my first open play. I just wanted to shadow a player.
This was my first encounter with an impatient expert. One of the ladies at the table kept reminding me that I had to find a beginner group. She didn’t want to play with anyone who was slow or didn’t know the rules.
Needless to say, I was turned off. I am a game player and refuse to be underestimated.
I went home and played so many games on my computer. In two weeks, I practically memorized the card and the rule book.
When I went back to the library, I didn’t sit with her. My tablemates were so kind when I explained I was a newer player. I asked them to be patient and remind me about the deal and table etiquette.
Everyone was so helpful, and I won most of the games that day. I was celebrated, and they loved having a new player. I could feel the impatient expert (let’s call her Nancy Know-It-All) glaring at me.
I personally love new players. I can help them along if they ask, but my heart is so happy when I see a new player put the puzzle together on their own.
There will always be a Nancy Know-It-All at an open play, but just remember there are more welcoming players than the Nancy-types.
The New Teacher
So many of the students I have taught have gone on to become teachers, which I think is great. It is an honor that I got them so excited about the game that they want to teach it! That is the greatest compliment a teacher can get.
That said, the mahjong space is getting crowded. Now we have teachers fighting for jobs and players for events. This is the ultimate scarcity mindset.
Give me a martini and 30 minutes, and I could tell you about the friends I helped start their teaching business who eventually stabbed me in the back, because they were threatened by me. There are plenty of opportunities to go around, and I recognize different teaching styles are always appreciated.
As someone who has built businesses and had to sell my services, I would always encourage a teacher to focus on their specialty, personality or mission. There is no reason to copy another teacher’s name, style or venue, or to poach their students.
I’m glad I’m no longer giving lessons when I hear about the teachers fighting.
Rules Ruth and Careless Cathy
Fighting about the rules is a recipe for drama at the mahjong table. Rules Ruth only wants to play by the NMJL rules and doesn’t like chitchat at the table. Careless Cathy loves to play with house rules and may have added a few blanks to the game. Rules Ruth and Careless Cathy are like oil and water.
Personally, I can play with Rules Ruth, but I’d rather play with Careless Cathy. I sit at the table for connection, not competition.
Both often leave the table with strong opinions about how mahjong should be played. Hazard: Insults (and tiles!) may fly during gameplay when mixing a Rules Ruth and Careless Cathy!
The Seat Saver
Remember the cafeteria in the classic movie Mean Girls? That is what is happening at the modern mahjong table. Cliques are forming over a game of tiles.
The stories I hear about “saved seats” at open play are petty and hurtful. The bossy lady trying to curate her table at an open play is out of line.
When I ran my open play, seats were on a first-come, first-served basis. I think meeting new players at the table should be celebrated!
Dealing with Mahjong Drama
I believe we need to be kind and inclusive people. I also recognize that many mahjong players are not always what I expected.
When you take your seat at the table, take a deep breath and remember the round will eventually end. It’s just a game.
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