The Freedom of Being Unavailable
Note: This article is written by Christina Schmitt, a friend I met playing mahjong in Nashville. She is an incredible human, a great game player and a talented writer. She truly lives a purposeful and playful life. In this post, she shares her experience logging off.
Finding Balance in a Constantly Connected World
Two weeks ago, after a conversation with Missy Mahjong, I decided to deactivate my Instagram account.
Initially, I was simply tired of constantly being sold to. A new skincare product promising to slow the signs of aging. Another pair of black leggings. A new cup. I love blankets, but does there really need to be a new blanket drop when it's 100 degrees outside? And, of course, we can't forget the latest mahjong set that sells out within seconds.
But something unexpected happened after I deactivated my account.
Within 12 hours, five people had reached out to me.
One friend admitted she thought I had blocked her, and I suspect a couple of others wondered the same thing. We had a good laugh about it, but what struck me was how nice it felt to hear from people outside of social media.
One friend told me she missed seeing my life, and that reminded me of exactly why I love social media in the first place.
When friends and family live thousands of miles away, these platforms allow us to share in each other's lives. We get to celebrate weddings, birthdays, new babies and even the little milestones. Show me your five-year-old graduating from kindergarten in a tiny cap and gown. I want to see it!
I genuinely love that connection.
And yet, after two weeks away, I've also started feeling a little more free.
Remember When We Weren't Always Available?
Sometimes I'll watch a show from the 1980s and find myself noticing how differently people interacted before technology became such a constant presence in our lives.
People stopped by to visit. Friends gathered around a table. Families spent evenings playing cards or board games.
And if someone called your house and you didn't answer?
They simply assumed you weren't home or you were busy. They'd try again later.
There was no expectation of an immediate response. No wondering why someone had read your message but hadn't replied.
Today, we carry a tiny computer everywhere we go. We're reachable at work, at dinner, on vacation and sometimes even in the middle of conversations with the people sitting right in front of us.
Somewhere along the way, being constantly connected started to feel like being constantly available.
And I'm not sure that's always a good thing.
Where Does the Time Go?
Have you ever picked up your phone to check one thing and suddenly realized 45 minutes have disappeared? I certainly have.
Or you sit down to watch one episode of a show, and before you've even decided whether to continue, Netflix has already started the next one. Suddenly, your Saturday morning is halfway over.
It's so easy to keep consuming. Another video, another episode, another scroll.
And while I love a good TV show, I can't help wondering how often we're spending our time watching other people live instead of making memories of our own.
Technology Isn't the Enemy
I love technology when it makes my life better.
I listen to Audible while cleaning or folding laundry because it helps me stay on task. I enjoy following travel influencers for inspiration and ideas for my own adventures.
And AI? I think it's an incredible tool. Let it help refine an email, organize a project or brainstorm ideas. But let's not allow it to replace our creativity, judgment or human connection.
Technology should make our lives easier, not quietly take over the time we have to enjoy them.
Making Time for Each Other
How many times have we exchanged texts with someone we love but haven't actually heard their voice in weeks?
Why not pick up the phone for a ten-minute conversation?
What if, instead of another Saturday morning watching television, we invited a few friends over for coffee and a game?
Pull out the mahjong tiles, a deck of cards or even a puzzle.
Sit around a table. Laugh. Talk. Catch up.
A heart on someone's photo isn't the same as telling them you're proud of them. A birthday comment isn't the same as hearing someone's voice. And watching other people have fun online isn't the same as making memories together.
I'm not suggesting we throw away our phones or delete every app. But these past two weeks have reminded me that I don't need to be available to everyone all the time. I don't need to know about every new product launch. And I certainly don't need to fill every spare moment with a screen.
Maybe finding balance isn't about disconnecting from technology. Maybe it's about reconnecting with each other.
And perhaps there's a little freedom in being unavailable every once in a while.
