Tabletop Games help build resiliency

I know, I know. I am so great at adapting and making new friends and learning new skills. What if I told you that isn’t true at all? I struggle every single day with these things. As a woman in my mid 40s, I look back and I can attribute most of my personal growth and resiliency to tabletop games.

Try something that is uncomfortable or hard

I’d love to be naturally good at everything. But would I REALLY? My greatest accomplishments don’t come from winning something that was easy for me to do in the first place. My greatest accomplishments are always something that I thought I couldn’t do well and grew to be consistently proficient. I’m sure you can think of examples in your own life.

If you have played Scrabble, you know that the longer word doesn’t always earn the most points. When you know the tricky two letter words and strategically place the highest value tiles, the shorter words often have the most value. That comes with practice… and maybe studying the Scrabble dictionary.

If a mahjong player is determined to win a hand they haven’t won before, it might take practice. I personally challenge myself to only play closed hands or new hands once I have won a game. I know some groups implement a table rule that you can only win on a hand once. This is when you compete with yourself rather than the other players. This is also why I don't keep score with pennies or points.

Lose often and learn more

Every time you lose at something, you learn from that mistake. That is when the growth really happens. No teachers or experts or books can educate you better than your own losses.

When I was in middle school, my family had this pinball machine in the basement. Every day I went downstairs and I played that game. At first, I thought I was decent and I could score well. After a while, I learned strategies. I challenged myself to beat my high score. And guess what? I did it consistently. I may not play pinball anymore, but I can confidently say I have skills and I know that with practice, I could potentially be a pinball tournament player. I mean, I’m not sure if that is really a thing, but if it is…. Sign. Me. Up.

Learn to celebrate others and accept imperfection

One of the things I dislike about mahjong is the online negativity about other players or strategies. There are complainers posting comments on Instagram or Facebook daily.

If you suspect someone is cheating, don’t play with them next time. Keep your head up and move along, sister.

If a player isn’t following a NMJL rule, politely explain that your own “issues” make strict NMJL rules a must for you at the table. Memorize the NMJL rule book and point out the discrepancies with a specific citation. Just own your reputation as the rule follower! If the players object, find a new table next time. As passionately as you feel about dealing according to the NMJL rules, the other players may feel passionately about friendly, fast dealing and blanks.

When another player wins, be happy for them. Celebrate another player’s win. Even if you were one tile away, just own it and try again. The victory is so much sweeter when you finally win authentically.

Practice

Anyone that puts in the work will improve. Resist the urge to compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to where you started and where you are at the moment.

I am confident in the fact that I am not a champion at any one thing, but I am decent at a lot of things. What is the saying? Jack of all trades, master of none? That is me. I don’t need to be the best at anything, but I will practice being able to confidently hang with other mahjong enthusiasts. I had to lose and fail many times before I could be this confident.

Tabletop games like mahjong are critical to personal growth and help build resiliency

Try something new and put yourself in a position to make mistakes. Let's grow using the tiles and our brains. I know the lessons I have learned from tabletop games have impacted many facets of my life. I want my kids to learn those lessons too.

One last thing... I only learned to play tic tac toe at 43 years old. Yes, I always thought I should go for the middle and nobody ever won. And then my husband and I played at Blackberry Farm and he beat me every single time! Finally, he caved and taught me the corner strategy. I am still learning in life and that is what makes each day so fun!